For family members
Christmas is a time when everyone gets together with family to celebrate so if you’re looking for inspiration of something funny to say whether it be in a Christmas card, on a gift tag or during conversation, then look no further.
- The 3 stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus. He doesn't believe in Santa Claus. He is Santa Claus. Congratulations on finally making it to stage 3! Merry Christmas old man.
- Me: "I want a magical Unicorn for Christmas"
Santa: "Be realistic"
Me: "Okay. I want 5 minutes to myself each day to drink my coffee hot and be in peace."
Santa: "What colour Unicorn would you like?"
This made me think of us! Thank you for being such a great friend and support this year. Wishing you more sleep and time for yourself in the coming year. Happy Christmas! - Please note: Christmas is cancelled! Apparently YOU told Santa that you've been GOOD this year... he died laughing!
- "I'm dreaming of a White Christmas. But if the White runs out I'll drink the Red!"
Looking forward to celebrating with you over Christmas! - Christmas is mostly for children. But we adults can enjoy it too until the credit card bills arrive!
- Wishing you the gifts of the season — Peace, Joy, and Cabernet Sauvignon.
- Santa has had the right idea all along. Visiting family only once per year. Only joking. Looking forward to seeing you!
- Christmas is so much worse as you get older. It’s like “What do you want this year?”
I don’t know, financial security?
A career?
A sense of purpose?
But a nap would be nice!!
- Why are Dasher and Dancer always taking coffee breaks? Because they are Santa’s star-bucks!
- Three phrases that sum up Christmas are: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men and Batteries Not Included.
- May your fun be large and bills be small this year. Merry Christmas!
- Do you know why this Christmas card is so wonderful? Because it isn’t an email and it isn’t a text.
- You can never get too many lynx sets at Christmas
- The best thing about the holidays is getting to catch up on sleep and TV shows. Not to forget the food… Enjoy!
- I enjoy my time with you at Christmas almost as much as I enjoy my time shopping for your present, which brings me little enjoyment
- Why is it so difficult to think of what to write in a Christmas card?
To really elevate your Christmas wish, treat them to a family day out where they can create lifelong memories together
For your significant other
There’s surely a great sense of humour between you and your loved one, so if you’re thinking of how to crack them up this Christmas whether it be through making fun of all the chaos or winding each other up, then we’ve got a few ideas below.
- I hope you love the present you told me to buy for you. Merry Christmas!
- Christmas is all about spending time with good people. So make sure you spend the entire day with me tomorrow. Merry Christmas, sweetheart!
- Happy Christmas! Yule always be my favourite.
- I would say all I want for Christmas is YOU but, I could really do with some money
- Hope you didn’t forget it’s Christmas. It always comes around this time of the year.
- The best gift you can give me is trying to be nice today!
- On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me … What is this, and did you keep the receipt?
- May the Christmas season fill our home with joy, hearts with love, and everything I put on my wish list
- That warm feeling isn’t just the Christmas spirit. I think you left the oven on.
- I’m trying something new this Christmas. I’m going to wrap myself up and sleep under the Christmas tree, so you’ll finally understand what a gift I am to you.
- Mentally: I am totally ready for Christmas. Financially? I’ll never be ready.
- You’ll like this present. You gave it to me last year!
- I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange
- I put so much thought into your gift that it’s now too late to get it. Merry Christmas anyway.
- I would say all I want for Christmas is you, but about that handbag…
- It’s time for our ugly sweaters. It’s Christmas time!
- The most beautiful part about Christmas is that it’s the last day of all the stress.
Whether you're looking for your own date with a difference or want to treat your favourite couple, a romantic day out gift is sure to level up your Christmas wish.
For friends
Bring a smile to your friend’s face with these hilarious messages perfect for a Christmas card, text or however you choose to communicate with them. Whether it’s a joke about you, them or Christmas itself, it’s sure to put them in the festive mood.
- It's all fun and games until Santa checks the naughty list. Let's hope he wasn't paying close attention to us this year! Thanks for being such a great friend, it's been fun spending time with you this year!
- I’ve finally found the true meaning of Xmas, it’s for those people who can’t spell Christmas!
- How do cats greet each other at Christmas? A furry Merry Christmas and happy Mew Year!
- May your Christmas be like Santa - fat, cheerful and abundant!
- I only got you a card in case you got me one...
- I hope your smiles will be as big as your credit card bill this Christmas! I wish you good luck and a lot of fun. Happy Christmas!
- Worrying about what to do this Christmas season. Just sit down and enjoy the Merry part!
- I wish you seasons eatings! Merry Christmas
- Christmas comes but once a year, but when it comes, it better bring good beer.
- Christmas is a good excuse to send cards to all my favourite people. Congratulations on retaining your position on my list this year.
- You know what I got for Christmas? Fat. I. Got. Fat!
- We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas and you’re welcome – that song’s now stuck in your head all day.
- Santa saw your Facebook – you’re getting a dictionary this year!
- So, Santa hides behind a large beard and has no income, but he can afford to give away billions of presents and flies to every city across the world every year. Are we sure Santa isn’t money laundering?
- I don’t usually write Christmas cards, but when I do, I usually write the same thing in all of them. Happy Christmas!
- Have a very merry Christmas and remember Christmas calories don’t count…
- I hope Christmas finds you in good spirits! And by spirits, I do mean alcohol.
When it comes to gifts for friends, it’s all about finding something that's as amazing as them and there's plenty of experience days out there:
Summary
Hopefully that’s given you some inspiration for some funny Christmas wishes, and maybe you’ve even had a little chuckle yourself. Whether you were looking for what to write in a Christmas card, a gift tag, text or just bring up in conversation we hope you’re all sorted now. And now you know what you’re going to say to your friends and family, maybe you’re wondering what to buy them. We’ve also got a few ideas on that too, so why not check out our Christmas gifts section.
